We live in a world full of achieving, striving, and gaining. Society reinforces it. From an early age we’re drip fed what we should have and what we need to do. The pressure of modern-day life can be immense. As a result, we put added pressure on ourselves to reach even further, be better, and more successful.
It’s no wonder that mental health issues are on the rise.
What’s the answer to a chaotic, relentless world that pushes us to be constantly moving? Stillness in the form of being. But what is being? And how does it differ from doing?
In this article, I’ll answer these questions. Plus, I’ll tell you how you can incorporate more stillness, peace, and tranquillity into your life.
What is Doing?
Doing = what you do. Sounds obvious right? Well, it is. We live in a world of doing. Writing lists, anticipating, preparing, planning, doing tasks, working towards goals. Does this sound familiar?
But there are some major problems with being stuck ONLY in doing mode.
1. You Miss What’s Happening Now in the Present
Have you ever been daydreaming, completely elsewhere, and then suddenly woken up? How often are you lost in thought planning for the future?
The more you’re preoccupied with all the things you need to do, the more you miss what’s right in front of you. Here and now. That could be your relationships, friendships, or the precious moments that occur throughout your day.
“We hurt people by being too busy. Too busy to notice their needs. Too busy to drop that note of comfort or encouragement or assurance of love. Too busy to listen when someone needs to talk. Too busy to care.”
– Billy Graham
2. There Will Always Be More to Do
Have you ever spent a lot of time, effort, or money getting something? When you got it, how long did the feeling of satisfaction last? Were you content for long? I’m guessing that after some time, you started planning to get something else.
It doesn’t matter what you learn, achieve, buy, or acquire, you will always want more. It’s human nature. The journey of life is never ending. We often look to the future for fulfilment, but this is an illusion.
You never arrive. There won’t ever be a time when you feel like you’ve done everything. You’ll never feel satisfied or fulfilled. Yet so many of us are in this never-ending state of seeking. It might be scary or disappointing to know this truth, but it’s also liberating.
3. Only Doing Leads to Stress and Fatigue
If all you ever do is work, anticipate, and plan, then you’re likely in a state of constant anxiety. This can have severe effects on your body. As a consequence your nervous system will be on overdrive, in a constant in a state of go.
Your muscles will be tense, your blood pressure will be higher, and you’ll always be in alert mode.
There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious, keeping busy, and working towards your goals. It’s how you achieve, develop, and grow. But there must be a balance. Everybody needs time to recalibrate and reconnect with themselves. That’s why being is so important.
Let’s explore why next.
“Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
– Dolly Parton
What is Being?
Being = being present and connecting with your inner stillness. The present moment is all that ever exists. The past is only a memory. When you recall it, this happens in the present. The future hasn’t happened yet. When you think about it, you can only imagine what will happen. This too only occurs in the present moment.
Sound crazy? Reflect on it and you’ll begin to understand.
When this was first brought to my attention, it changed my whole perspective of time and our reality. We often either ruminate about the past or try our best to predict and prepare for the future.
This isn’t a mistake.
It’s what sets us apart from other species. Humans evolved to learn, plan, and anticipate. That’s so we can remember our mistakes and improve, allowing us to progress. And being able to foresee potential threats, dangers, and problems helps to ensure our survival.
But we’ve lost touch with being. It’s the inner stillness that exists everywhere. Within me, you, animals, and throughout the whole universe. People call it different things: god, consciousness, awareness, or presence.
It’s the inspiration for the name of my website: Mindful Way to Be. When you’re mindful and present, you’re grounded and connected. You can allow things to just be as they are, without judgement or resistance.
You can be open, accepting, and in a state of peace, even when things around you are chaotic and stressful. Sound hard to believe? Let’s look at how you can.
“The art of life is to live in the present moment.”
— Emmet Fox
How to Incorporate Being into Your Life
Practicing mindfulness is the most effective way to be, rather than do. There are two ways in which you can incorporate the practice into your life.
Meditation
Most people think that the aim of meditation is to empty their mind. They expect that within a few minutes they should be sitting like a zen master. This is where many go wrong. You can’t clear your head of thoughts.
They are always there, whether you want them or not.
What do you do then? You learn to observe them floating by like clouds in the sky. When you’re able to watch your thoughts, they no longer entangle you. You don’t get bogged down by the past or anxious about the future.
You start to realise that thoughts come and go, in and out of your awareness. You don’t have to take them as fact or let them overwhelm you.
When meditating, you also focus on your bodily sensations, feelings, and emotions. Empowering you to be more in tune with your body and mind. Additionally, you can incorporate focussing on colours, shapes, sounds, or even silence.
This helps to cultivate self-awareness, whilst being more presently engaged with the world around you. The true purpose of meditation is to pay attention to what’s happening in the here and now.
There are times during meditation when you may feel restless and agitated. That’s ok. Be present with it. This happens to even experienced meditators. In other moments, you can find peace and bliss. I’ve had and continue to have both experiences.
The present moment doesn’t have to be one way or the other. It is as it is. I will say though, the longer you meditate, the more likely you are to become grounded and settled. Which is why many people recommend around at least 20 minutes.
Being Mindful throughout Your Day
Even when you’re busy doing, you can go into being. You can switch between the two. Enabling you to find moments of peace and serenity throughout your day. How? By incorporating mindfulness into everything that you do.
Stressed commuting to work? Tune into your body and how it feels. Pay attention to the sounds surrounding you, or the vibrations of the train, bus, or car. Become aware of what’s happening in the present, without complaining about it.
Feeling overwhelmed by your job? Take a few deep breaths. Focus on them intently. Be aware of your racing thoughts and observe them like a running movie. Make a choice to disengage from the stories playing out. Be the audience member, not character involved in the plot.
Hate washing the dishes? Focus on the present experience. Listen to the sounds of the water trickling. How hot or cold is it to touch? Notice how the dishes feel in your hands.
You can make any task into a mindful practice.
Why bother?
Ask yourself this, if you can’t change or leave a situation, what’s the alternative? Instead of judging, complaining, and resisting it, embrace the present moment. You can find peace, contentment, and accept the struggles of life. You can turn mundane tasks into an experience of curiosity and intrigue.
Find the Balance Between Doing and Being
We need doing. As a species we want to learn, achieve, gain, and strive. But we also need being. It’s how we relax, ground ourselves, become more self-aware and present. It’s the way to be still and connect with the world around us.
We need both. So, find the balance between the two.
Meditate and practice mindfulness throughout your day. Turn everyday tasks, chores, and activities into mindful practices. As you gradually introduce more present awareness into your life, you’ll likely find you feel lighter and freer.
You’ll be able to surf the waves of life, rather than being swept away by them.
You build resilience.
Mindfulness also empowers you to embrace your life journey, rather than always be anticipating the future for fulfilment. So, what are you waiting for?
Enjoy this article? When do you struggle to be present?
Let me know in the comment section.
Take care of yourselves,
Chris from Mindful Way to Be
