Have you ever experienced emotional pain and suffering? I have. I’m willing to bet you have too. As much as we may try to deny, suppress, or distract ourselves from it, pain is an inevitable part of life. We all face it at some point or other.
During my late teens and early 20s I experienced a lot of suffering.
Anxiety consumed my mind and body. Self-loathing shattered my confidence. Low self-esteem prevented me from living. Confusion kept me feeling lost at sea. And hurt left me with deep wounds that wouldn’t heal.
Looking back at that time, I can confidently say I’m different person. Wiser, stronger, and more equipped to deal with the rollercoaster of life. That’s because although pain can be challenging, it’s also our greatest teacher.
Providing you with opportunities for self-discovery, personal growth, and building resilience.
How? In this post I invite you to shift your perspective and embrace pain as a catalyst for learning and growth. Instead of allowing it to paralyse you.
Let’s explore how you can use pain to propel you forward.
Pain Leads to Introspection
After processing the hurt of a previous relationship, I began to reflect upon the behaviour of us both. I challenged my thinking. Questioned my identity and what I wanted from life. I soon realised that it ending was for the best.
You see pain often leads to introspection.
Giving us the opportunity to explore how and why things happened. You’re able to dig deep. Ask questions about your own actions and behaviour, or that of others. You can confront your own vulnerabilities, fears, and weaknesses.
Enabling you uncover things you never knew about yourself. Leading to a greater awareness and a deeper understanding of who you are. What you want and don’t want. In this sense, pain provides you with invaluable insights, which you wouldn’t have had otherwise.
So, do me a favour. If you’re going through pain now, take some time to reflect upon it. What can it teach you about yourself, others, and the world around you?
But only do this if you feel ready. You might need to fully process your pain first, otherwise it could become trapped.
It’s How You Build Resilience
People can hurt us. Our dreams can be broken. Illness and disease can bring us pain. Life is full of twists, turns, ups, and downs. But in these testing times, your real strength can flourish. You can tap into reservoirs you never knew existed.
You can face and conquer adversity with courage and grit.
And the more suffering, pain, and discomfort you face, the stronger you become. You build even more resilience, fortitude, and determination. Empowering you to face future hardships with greater capacity.
You’re capable of much more than you think.
Reflect back on what you’ve overcome so far in life. Difficulties, obstacles, challenges, and setbacks. Write them all down. It may surprise you, what you’ve already been through and survived.
Pat yourself on the back and keep going.
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”
— C.S. Lewis
Pain Can Steer You in New Directions
The difficulties I faced in my early adulthood led me to get therapy. I acquired new tools to defeat my anxiety and depression. My mindset evolved. Overtime, I grew more self-aware, and stronger.
Years later, I decided I wanted to help others as I had been. I began training to become a therapist and created this website. Without the struggles I faced, I wouldn’t be on this new journey. And you wouldn’t be here reading this post.
Painful experiences can be a catalyst for positive change.
They can serve as wake up calls. Encourage you to take positive action. Inspire you to make new choices and pursue further opportunities. Cause you to seek new relationships more suited to your needs. And make better lifestyle choices for your mental health and wellbeing.
Think of where you are now and where you’d like to be. What do you need to do to make it happen? And have your past painful experiences influenced you along your journey so far? If so, any current or new difficulties can do the same.
Suffering Cultivates Compassion
I discovered new meaning and purpose from my years of pain. You know what else I found? More compassion and empathy towards others. I understood what it meant to feel depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed with emotion.
I felt real struggle and began to understand how our own minds can destroy us. And by seeing my loved ones fall apart, I realised how easily things can go wrong without warning. Those years were tough. But they helped me to become a better person.
Going through pain can amplify your capacity for compassion, which benefits your own wellbeing.
You gain insights to the nature of suffering. Enabling you to become more attuned to the pain of others. This causes you to be more empathetic, understanding, accepting, and tolerant. It may even inspire you to help others.
Whether that’s a friend, loved one, or stranger on the street. What can you do to make someone feel better today? It could be a compliment, a simple word of encouragement, or being a shoulder to lean.
“Compassion is to look beyond your own pain, to see the pain of others.”
— Yasmin Mogahed
Hard Times Create Gratitude
Why does pain and suffering exist? That’s a deep question. But one perspective is that the world is full of opposites, which we need. Night and day. Chaos and order. Sadness and happiness. Without their counterparts, they have no meaning.
How could we sleep and rest without the night? In what way could we appreciate order without chaos? Without sadness, could we fully appreciate being happy?
Pain and pleasure are exactly the same.
When you recover from being ill, you value your health more. After overcoming sorrow, you’ll feel lighter. When you find new relationships after enduring loneliness, you’ll have a sense of belonging again. You get the idea.
Pain provides the contrast to pleasure. Giving you perspective for when things are good. Allowing you to appreciate your life more fully. Be grateful for what you have. And relish in the moments of joy, peace, and prosperity.
Otherwise, you may take everything for granted.
What are you grateful for in your life right now? I’m sure you can find some positives.
Pain Gives You Wisdom
Pain and suffering are inevitable parts of our lives, but they can also bring us knowledge and wisdom. Pain leads to introspection, giving you deeper insights to who you are. It builds resilience, so you can face adversity with courage, determination, and strength.
The difficult experiences you face can steer you in new directions. Opening doors of opportunity and personal growth. The suffering that you encounter can increase your empathy and compassion towards others. Furthermore, it helps to give you perspective and appreciation for the moments of joy.
So, when faced with pain, approach it with a healthier mindset. Re-evaluate your beliefs, priorities, actions, and choices. Reflect on what you can learn, challenge, and change. Welcome the opportunities.
Let it be your greatest teacher.
Embrace the life lessons it teaches you.
Be fully open to them, learn, and evolve.
Approach pain with this attitude and you can’t go wrong. You will use it for your own benefit, instead of it paralysing you. What are you waiting for?
Did you find this post helpful to shift your perspective on pain? Let me know down below.
Take care of yourselves,
Chris from Mindful Way to Be
