Why is it so hard to stay consistent doing the things we know are good for us? Like meditation, journaling, exercise, eating well, and staying off our phone.
We start with good intentions. Sometimes we even stick to them for a few weeks or longer. But then life happens, and things fall apart. This only leaves us feeling frustrated and guilty.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too, and still am at times.
If you’d rather watch or listen to this, I’ve included the video version below.
We Rely Too Much on Motivation
One of the biggest reasons we struggle with consistency is simple. We rely too much on motivation. The problem is that motivation is like an emotion. It comes, and it goes.
Some days you feel focused, energised, and ready to go. Other days, you feel tired, distracted, or just not in the mood. And when motivation disappears, so does the habit. Once I understood this, it changed how I saw things, because it made me realise something important.
Motivation is unreliable; discipline is what carries you through.
I explore how they work together in more detail in my article Motivation vs Discipline.
At its core though, discipline means doing something even when you don’t feel like it. For example, there are days when I finish work feeling exhausted. My sleep has not been great and I don’t feel like going to the gym.
But I go anyway.
Not because I feel motivated, but because I know I will feel better afterwards. Even if I am still physically tired, there is something powerful about knowing I showed up.
That builds self-trust and confidence.
We Expect Too Much From Ourselves
The second issue is just as important. We expect far too much from ourselves. From a young age, we are surrounded by messages telling us we need to achieve, acquire, and be more.
Success, productivity, and status are constantly pushed on us.
So what do we do? We take all of that pressure and apply it to ourselves.
We try to meditate daily, exercise regularly, eat perfectly, stay productive, and be consistent with everything all at once. But of course, it doesn’t last. And when we can’t keep up, we feel like we have failed.
But the truth is this.
The expectations were unrealistic, not you.
I go into this more in my article Why You’re Never Satisfied.
Consistency Does Not Mean Perfection
This is where we need to rethink what consistency actually means. A lot of people think consistency means doing everything perfectly every single day. But that’s not realistic.
Consistency means showing up over time, even if it is not perfect.
You can still be consistent if you miss days.
You can still be consistent if you only do a small amount.
You can still be consistent if you do not complete everything.
What matters is direction, not perfection.
You can still be moving forward without ticking every box.
This also ties into how we often approach growth, which touch on more in my article Embracing Your Life Journey.
Be More Compassionate With Yourself
This is something that made a big difference for me.
During my own therapy, I struggled with perfectionism and being too hard on myself. My therapist said something simple that stuck with me. Tell yourself you did what you had capacity for today, and that is enough.
That shift is powerful.
So, instead of asking, “Did I do everything?” you say, “I did what I could”.
Some days that might be a lot.
Some days it might be very little.
Some days it might be nothing.
And that’s okay.
Rest and recovery matter too.
Learning to slow down and reconnect with yourself can help with this. I talk more about that in my article on Doing vs Being.
A Simple Shift in Perspective
Instead of trying to be perfect, try this approach.
Lower the pressure.
Accept that your energy and motivation will change.
Focus on small steps rather than everything at once.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Because being harsh and critical does not create consistency. In fact, it only makes it hard to come back the next day.
A Mantra to Remember
If you take one thing from this, let it be this.
I did what I had capacity for today, and that is enough.
Say it on the good days.
Say it on the difficult days.
Because consistency is not built through pressure. It is built through self-compassion over time.
Final Thoughts
If you struggle with consistency, it doesn’t mean you are lazy or undisciplined. It means you are human.
Motivation comes and goes.
Energy changes.
Life gets in the way.
But when you rely less on motivation, let go of perfection, and treat yourself with more compassion, consistency becomes much more realistic.
Take care of yourselves,
Chris from Mindful Way to Be
